Recently, I have begun to identify more clearly about my fear. I am constantly in fear. My anxiety is relatively high almost on a daily basis. Can't imagine rite? Well thats the fact.
I dont' sleep well. and these days don't even think straight no more.
I am able to define one of my greatest fear. I have loads but one of the biggest one is growing old alone without anyone beside me. Of course then that would relate to my status of being single. I know my parents is not going to be here forever. There will come a time when they would too need to leave this place called earth to be with God.
What will become of me then? Can i rely on my sibillings who have their own family to care for.
Why this fear? I guess if you are someone who has loads of friends who are by your side and you have friends whom you spend alot of time with or alot of friends, you probably won't be feeling this.
I am a person who is more skewed to being introverted. I am very cautious about bla-ing things to people. Therefore, probably harder for people to get to know me. I personally feel that I am a nice and good person minus the torrent temper sometimes.
Dunno why its so tough to find a person to share my life with. You know what else, I think part of the problem is that I dont' go out much. I hate parties, I dislike bars.. discos... The smokes kills me.. I enjoy things i wish sometimes, I can find friends or just a activity partner to share with.
Some people tell me to pray harder. I guess praying hard for the last 10 years should account for something. I don't know. But nothing has yet to happen. I feel like giving up as I don't see any light at the end of the tunnel.
FYI, i never thought I will ever blog and tell people about me! Coz ME = Personal. unless i know and trust you enough :P
Blogging for me is an indication that I have come a long way in letting people know abit about me. Prior to this, you probably have to spend a gazillion hours with me before you get to know the real me :)
Imagine my best friend is someone I knew from kindy????!?!?!?! But unfortunately in this past year, I have lost her to this cult..... Which almost got me too but thank God that He made me realize it.
I hope my greatest fear will not become a reality.....
Therefore, my readers..... please keep me in your prayers as I know you have found people to share your life with. I wish for that too... SOON.................
1 comment:
I know that the typical answer you get by revealing your greatest fear is that you ought to open up yourself and go out and meet people. I am not going to say that. In fact, I'd like to understand the reason why it takes people gadzillion hours to get to know you? Is there a particular reason why you don't like to let people reach out and know you? Have you been hurt before? Personally, I don't see any harm in letting people know me. So what if they laugh at my idiosyncracies? These people have done more stupid things than me too. It is good to share with friends and relate to them. You'd be surprise to see how many people have done the stuff you have done. There's nothing wrong with that.
Can you imagine this man coming to your life and wanting to know you better. Two months down the line, you are still closing up and he feels that he didn't know you at all. He'll be frustrated and may give up.
Give everybody a chance. Open up yourself and I bet a lot of people will see a beautiful you :)
Post a Comment